In my first few years as a disciple I had fun as a single and enjoyed dating the brothers and making friends with them. In 1998 when I had been a Christian for four years I started steady dating and eight months later was engaged, but the engagement was broken within three months. This left me hurt and afraid to trust again, so I decided that I would just give up on men and not give my heart again, so I put up a wall. I still went on dates from time to time, but I enjoyed being single and justified it by that fact that I had my hands full with two teenage daughters.
In January 2006, I realized it had been quite a while since I’d been on a date and I missed the male friendships I’d had in my early years as a Christian, so I prayed to have four dates that year. I didn’t want a boyfriend or to get married, just a few dates. I went to visit my good friends in Northern Virginia and they set me up on a date with a brother there while I was visiting – date #1.
I had joined the “Fun in the Son” website and sporadically would check it. At the end of January, I logged on and had a message dating weeks prior from a brother in South Carolina. I sent him a message back and we corresponded and talked for a couple of months and went on a date in April – date #2.
I became more involved with the singles and even planned a singles retreat here in Tallahassee in April 2006. Then in June a couple here set me up on a date with a brother in a nearby congregation, so I had my 3rd date of the year by June. Then in August, I had my 4th date with a brother here, who I had been friends with for over 10 years.
During this time my brother David moved to Tallahassee and moved in with me in January. I had prayed for him for years. He studied the Bible and was baptized in April. He became great friends with a group of the guys in Church who rode motorcycles and one in particular, Greg Shine who studied the Bible with him and was going through the final stages of a divorce. I encouraged them both to take the sisters on dates.
Throughout the next few months Greg and I became good friends as well. A group of us went to a singles retreat in September and at the retreat I began to realize that Greg and I could be more than friends. It still scared me, but because we were friends first and I felt like I really knew him, I was able to deal with my feelings. It also helped that I had been seeing a professional counselor for almost a year to help me deal with my past and to figure out how to choose safe relationships. Through counseling I also came to realize that being real and open allowed for deeper relationships and I no longer tried to be what I thought I should be, but just be myself.
I went away at the end of October for two weeks on the first “Steps of the Apostles” Cruise and spent a lot of time with a group of the singles on the cruise. While on the cruise Greg and I emailed and talked on the phone a few times and I realized even more that he and I were becoming more than friends. Over the next two months Greg and I went on quite a few dates and began to fall in love. He was easy to talk to and accepted me for who I was, faults and all.
We started dating steady in January 2007 and were married in September that year. I had my plan for my life – to be single and do what I wanted, but God’s plan is always so much better. Isaiah 55:9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
One of my favorite scriptures is Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Another one is Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” God really does want to give us the desires of our hearts and His plans are so much better than our plans. I am grateful that God knew I needed a godly husband and He brought him into my life at just the right time. I was able to have my time with my daughters and work on myself so that I would be ready for just the right one at the right time. I believe in enjoying your life wherever God has you, single or married. Engagement is also a fun time especially if you don’t focus on the wedding, but focus instead on laying the foundation for the marriage. God wants us to live life to full, John 10:10 “I came so that they may have life, and have it to the full”.
If you know of good news in the women's ministry please e-mail them to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or meghna.thomas @dtoday.net