The disciples argued….about silly things
Mark 9:33-34 “They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, “What were you arguing about on the road?” 34 But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest.”
The disciples had just attempted to heal a boy with seizures and failed. Yet, they had enough pride left to actually argue with one another about who among the disciples was the best/greatest - astounding, really! At this point in Jesus’ ministry, the disciples were beginning to experience some of the notoriety that came with being a disciple of a miracle-man and perhaps it was going to their heads?
Kids are like that too. Perhaps it’s as simple as a successful win at a board game, or a trophy in baseball or a prize achieved at school. Perhaps your 6 year-old mastered riding her bike before the 8 year-old did, or maybe the 10 year-old won the fundraising prize that her brother was working so hard toward. Kids can brag and take a wrong kind of pride in what they do.
The disciples obviously knew that their arguing was wrong on two levels: first of all, they were arguing and secondly they were arguing about who was best! Pretty obvious right? Maybe not! In addition, our children argue when they want to be right, another manifestation of pride.
Let’s look at how Jesus responded to our first century brothers in Christ.
Mark 9:35-37 “Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” 36 He took a little child whom he placed among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, 37 “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.”
Jesus told the disciples that they must be servants to all people. That their great acts and successes were not to earn praise and commendations from the crowd, but rather to serve the needs of the people and bring glory to God; to show people the true path to God. These people, and all of us as well, needed to have the innocent hearts of untainted children, not the boastful ways that sometimes we grownups adopt as we go through life.
He asked them to place their pride and “selfish”-esteem aside and think of the needs of others.
Accept my miracles, Accept my Father.
What a great lesson to teach our children in their successes: that accomplishments are wonderful, but that they should be grateful to God for them and then perhaps turn around and help someone else with their talents that needs assistance. And that, in success, our children can learn to be grateful to God and use self control rather than verbally boastful or bragging. That what is really important is that state of our hearts, not the state of our success. Jesus took the opportunity of his disciples arguing to point out to them that what was really important was people (and relationships), not achievement and winning or being the best.
The disciples lacked spiritual insight
Mark 15: 29-33: “Jesus left there and went along the Sea of Galilee. Then he went up on a mountainside and sat down. Great crowds came to him, bringing the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute and many others, and laid them at his feet; and he healed them. The people were amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the crippled made well, the lame walking and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel. Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away hungry, or they may collapse on the way.” His disciples answered, “Where could we get enough bread in this remote place to feed such a crowd?”
The disciples, though they had been with Jesus for some time, still lacked the spiritual eyes (and compassion) that was needed to see what was possible with a faith in an amazing, loving God.
This was exposed when Jesus told them to feed the crowd of five thousand. Their reaction: utter disbelief. “What does Jesus want us to do? We could never feed this many people!” they must have been saying. But those questions revealed that they were not thinking with their spiritual hearts or seeing with their spiritual eyes, they were thinking with their physical brains, earthly logic and seeing impossible tasks.
34-36 “How many loaves do you have?” Jesus asked. “Seven,” they replied, “and a few small fish.” 35 He told the crowd to sit down on the ground. Then he took the seven loaves and the fish, and when he had given thanks, he broke them and gave them to the disciples, and they in turn to the people. They all ate and were satisfied.
Our children too need help to think spiritually. Because we are helping them build their faith from scratch everyday, we should probably expect that they will often not see with spiritual eyes.
It is our job to assist them with learning to think in a spiritual manner. It could be a homework assignment, or an athletic competition, or a grade on a very important test, friendships challenges, or maybe it’s just tying their shoes. Whatever challenges that come in their lives, we have to help them approach it in a spiritual manner.
Truly, if we can instruct them to pray about things that they feel anxious about, or get through disappointments we will be making their lives easier. We can teach them to forgive, to please Jesus with their actions, to speak up when they need to and to never give up. In addition, let’s teach our kids to take their feelings and thoughts to God.
What Jesus did is refocused the disciples on the endless possibilities of God. Let’s do that for our children too.
The disciples disappointed Jesus…deeply
Matthew 26:69-75: “Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said. 70 But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. 71 Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.” 72 He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!” After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.” Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!” Immediately a rooster crowed. 75 Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly”.
Peter completely abandoned Jesus in his hour of need. I mean completely. How did Jesus feel seeing his best friend, the one who would be called “The Rock,” reject him? It had to hurt, really badly. As parents we raise our children in love hoping that they will be Disciples when they grow up. But, they hurt us too. They make bad choices along their journey – perhaps stealing, perhaps getting into groups of friends or relationships that cause us anxiety or worry, perhaps leaving God after they made the commitment to love him forever.
It’s true, that the more you love, the more of a capacity there is for hurt, and let’s face it; parents and children are the most love-filled relationships.
Jesus continued on with the life which was planned for him which included an arrest, flogging, crucifixion and resurrection, but he never forgot about Peter. Eventually, when the time was right, Jesus approached Peter.
John 15:15-19: “When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”
With children we should be praying for the direction of their life and the challenges they are facing at the moment, with preteen children we should do the same, with teens and college age kids…the same. You never stop praying for your children. And when they do something wrong or disappoint you, prayerfully, when the time is right, it’s time to restore them, to forgive and move on.
Never forget that your children were given to you so that you could shape them and bring them into this world to love God, but, your children, who they are, all their issues and struggles, were also given to you to shape you! I truly believe that my kids, who they are 100 percent, is the perfect fit for me, despite the fact that sometimes what they call me to be is extremely hard and against my nature.
There are countless more examples of how our children resemble the disciples in their journey of faith in the Bible. As parents, I am grateful to see the parent/child relationship between Jesus and his Disciples. It helps me so much to see the kind of mother I should be represented in Christ. May God bless you in your parenting!
Jennifer Coe is a mom to two energetic boys, Andy and Jeff, and has been a disciple for 16 years.
She is a freelance writer and photographer for Patch.com and The Reminder News in Conn.