Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist

In my mind, I can often have a perfect picture of what things should be. What I look like; what my relationship and our story should be; what my career trajectory should be. Yet it’s a facade, one I cannot live up to. It only frustrates me and those exposed to it.

James 4:2-3″ You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”

When I hold onto my picture of perfection too tightly, I lose sight of God’s perspective. It can ultimately leave me devastated and unforgiving for longer than I care to admit. It results in me being more upset about the stain on my picture than the stain of my sins. Sins which include being overly critical at work, unforgiving and assuming the worst of those I love, and being unkind to myself or others because they messed up how I wanted things to be.

1 Samuel 16:7 “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

God calls me to lay down my pursuits, along with the disappointments and burden they bring, and rest in Him. He calls me to see beauty and perfection through His eyes. He calls me to trust his way over my own.

Cleanliness: Consistent, but not Compulsive

God is “the same yesterday, today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). Everything God is and does demonstrates his constancy and consistency—the flow of the seasons year after year, the coming of every new day, the utter reliability of his promises. God is always there, always working for our good, always working to sustain and maintain this world in which we live.