I was a cheerleader in high school and loved it. I wasn't much into the formations or building elaborate pyramids, but I loved cheering on our team at the games. I loved getting the crowd excited because I believed that if we could be loud enough together, we could give our team the boost, the momentum, the something extra they might need to get the job done and win the game. Our job was to keep the crowd behind the team no matter what.I'm not talking about being "rah-rah" parents who dole out fluffy flattery. Encouragement is much deeper than that. It means to say words and show actions that put courage into the people we love. Life is challenging and our adult kids benefit greatly from having parents who are quick to say things like, "I believe in you," "I'm proud of you," "you amaze me," "God has put great ideas on your heart," "I'm praying for you," "I know you will learn and grow," "you're a great wife/husband," "I love how you parent your children."
On the flip-side, our adult kids suffer when they feel our silent (or not so silent) disapproval of their actions or plans. Sometimes we feel the need to try and keep our kids from making mistakes with decisions in their lives. I have decided, rather, to adopt the attitude of one man I spoke to. He experienced a difficult relationship with one of his parents and though he is very successful, what was said and demonstrated told him that he didn't really know what he was doing and probably wouldn't do anything well... He told me that because of how he was treated, he will only step in with his children if he feels what they are doing is egregious. (I had to look that up...it means that something is extraordinarily bad or flagrant or shocking.) I agree with that...if it's not egregious I'm going to simply encourage and let them figure out their own lives.
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