We are in the midst of fall, that resplendent time of year when trees become dormant with the hope of the resurgence of life in the spring. So, too, are our brothers and sisters during seasons of loss and transition. Although our hearts are right and our intentions good, we often do not know what to do or say to promote healing.
There are many ways to facilitate recovery in those we love. We can:
- Pray for them
- Pray with them
- Listen without a critical spirit
- Admit that we don’t know how they feel
- Encourage them to talk about their pain
- Expect someone to have a multitude of feelings
- Help them move towards their pain, not away from it
- Reassure them that what they are experiencing is normal
- Accompany them to do painful tasks
- Tell them how sorry we are and how much we love them
- Plant seeds of hope; reassure them that they will not always feel this way
- Walk with them without expectations
- Realize that our friends will grieve in ways we find different
- Be mindful of anniversaries
- Write cards expressing care and concern
- Listen to the same stories, over and over
- Follow up and follow through
- Remember our friend during the holidays
- Watch for warning signs (alcohol, drugs, eating disorders)
- Encourage them to seek outside help
- Be comfortable with silence
- Inquire about support groups
- Spend time in the scriptures with them…focusing on God’s faithfulness during adversity
- Have the essential qualities of empathy, acceptance, sensitivity, genuineness, trust, love, patience and hope
The heart that heals others is the one that is available. Pain shared is grief divided. The deepest friendships we have are those made perfect through shared suffering. To be fully present during ones grief stricken hours is truly a privilege. We learn more about Jesus through suffering and our response to it then is gleaned during times of ease and prosperity. A resurrection requires a cross. Grief with the acknowledgement of God’s love is no less painful, but it fills us with the hope and joy of sharing in God’s eternal purpose. God’s love requires our response…reach out to the broken hearted. When we extend ourselves in this way we glorify our Lord and Savior as well as forge life changing relationships.
