I came out of the baptistry and burst into tears. My friends were very concerned and asked me what the matter was. There was no "matter". I was just so relieved - relieved to be saved, relieved to get a fresh start, relieved to enjoy the freedom I had been craving for years.
I was not raised with any kind of religion. Growing up in France there was no talk of God, no visits to church, no prayer, no faith, no family devos, no sense of right and wrong. Of course my parents did try their best and they had high expectations of good behaviour, but there were no reasons given, except that "they said so".
Clearly that was not enough to convince a rebellious and adventurous teenager and I went off the rails at the age of twelve. Before that I was a sensitive child, an excellent student, and a day dreaming bookworm. After I went "wild" I still remained a good student, and I still read a lot of books, but I was not shy any more and I decided to break every boundary anyone ever tried to impose on me. I was a risk taker and I made very poor choices over the next ten years.
I did have a dream though. As a ten year old I had the deep conviction that I wanted to go to a third world country and do something to redress the injustice I saw in the world. I always felt it was not right that so few had so much while so many had so little. It upset me deeply. I remember watching the news as a child in the late 60s and being heart broken at the famine in Biafra. Unfortunately as the years passed and my morality degenerated I drifted from that dream. Life happened.
By the time I was twenty I was living life to the full, going from party to party and treating a string of boyfriends as if they were disposable goods. I was looking for something. I was looking for my passion. I was running after excitement and meaning in all the wrong places.
The summer after my twentieth birthday something happened to make me wake up. I betrayed someone who really cared about me and the hurt I caused jolted me into reality. I knew I could not carry on like that. I made a decision to change. I stopped smoking and getting drunk, I changed the way I dressed, I stopped going to wild parties, and I decided to be faithful to my boyfriend. There was still no God but I had the beginnings of a conscience. I knew I wanted to be "good".
I buried myself in my studies and I graduated at the top of my class in university. I was then chosen to go to London and for my first job to teach at London University. That year I also picked up a Bible and started reading out of curiosity. God was working in my life but I did not know it yet.
I moved to London in September of 1983. Ten days later at breakfast in my student hostel a tall friendly guy introduced himself and started talking to me. God has sent Douglas Jacoby into my life. He happened to live in the room on the floor above mine. He was also one of the most evangelistic Christians I have ever met. He was incredibly knowledgeable about the Bible and answered all the questions this arrogant non believing French girl threw at him.
I went to church that Sunday and I met Jesus. James Lloyd preached the first sermon I ever heard. It rocked my world. I was not sure if I liked church but I knew I wanted what those people had. The Christians I met that day were free and happy. I wasn't. I was empty, guilty, and lost. I would lie awake at night wondering what life was all about.
I did not believe in God and I had no intention of being a Christian but I wanted to know what made these people tick. I also wanted to know if this was all true. I proceeded to study the Bible with a vengeance. I studied every day, read almost the whole Bible over the next few weeks. I was desperate to find out... and the Holy Spirit worked its magic. I fell in love with this Jesus, this amazing and inspiring man who was everything I wanted to be. He was pure, kind, compassionate, and he knew what his life was all about. He had the passion I was looking for. I argued, asked a lot of questions, disappeared for a few days, but in the end I decided to "give in". I surrendered on a Saturday evening and the next day, Sunday November 27 1983, I was baptised. I did have my doubts whether I would be able to last more than six months. I felt so unworthy and so sinful. I would look in awe at the people who had been Christians for more than four years and think they were spiritual giants!
I felt so needy of my relationship with God. There was so much catching up to do! I was like a parched man who had found a spring of fresh water! I threw myself into this new life and enjoyed every minute of it. The first year and a half were not without challenges as I discovered my new faith but by the end of my first year as a Christian I had found my purpose. There was talk of a mission team going to India and I felt called to go. This was what I had dreamed of as a child. Now I could go to India and do something meaningful. I also met the love of my life through our shared love of mission work. Mark Templer was also going to India. We became best friends and got married right before the team left for Bangalore.
We had our honeymoon in India and stayed. We have now spent most of the last 28 years in India. I am 52 years old and I feel like the luckiest girl alive! I get to do what I always wanted to do. I am married to a most wonderful man; we have five children, two of them adopted. Adoption is something I had always dreamed of. As a child I talked about running an orphanage one day. My mom, my dad, and my brothers were all baptised in the years after me. We went from being a godless family to a family that has family devos on our vacations!
Life is a great adventure. In a few months we are moving to Dubai to embark on a new phase of our life. There is much to do! My motto in life is, "No regrets!". I want to face Jesus at the end of my life and be able to look at him in the eyes and say, "I did what you created me to do; I was far from perfect, but I have no regrets."
I dread to think of where I would be if I had not become a Christian. Knowing myself, there is no way I would have sustained a long term relationship. I most probably would have been stuck in a rut, a prisoner of my own mistakes and sins. I certainly would not be living my dream of helping others in a place like India.
I could not write this without mentioning the wonderful men and women God put in my life over the last 30 years - the ones who studied the Bible with me, the ones who inspired me to make a difference, the ones who called me higher in righteousness, the ones who comforted and spurred me on. I will not mention specific names as there are too many and I don't want too hurt anyone's feelings by overlooking them. Let it suffice it to say it takes a village!
I am so very grateful. My baptism feels as if it happened yesterday. I can still feel the warm waters of baptism, I can still hear the Christians singing, "I have decided..." as tears ran down my face, and I can still feel the excitement of a redeemed life.
It has now been 30 years and the adventure is not over. If God grants me more years I fully intend to make them count.
