So let's talk preschoolers.Emotional self-control is not something kids achieve after a one-time punishment or conversation, and kids don't just automatically "grow into it" without guidance—it's one of those things they only develop with consistent, patient help from us. Which means that we, the parent, must also learn a whole new level of patience and emotional self-control, ha!
How to Handle Temper Tantrums
So if you've got a three-year-old in the throes of throwing him- or herself on the floor screaming every time they don't get their way...keep working on it. Be firm and consistent every time they shout, or flop on the floor, or hit, or stomp their foot—if they realize that tantrums never achieve what they want, over time they'll give up the tactic.
But don't just discourage tantrums; encourage patience and self-control (encourage them with praise, reward, etc.). Try equipping your child with simple strategies to help them get control of wild feelings (count to ten and breathe; go sit in the other room for a minute and calm down; squeeze your hands together).
But we can't just deal with them in the crisis moment—if we want to see real growth, we have to take it deeper. In calm moments, talk to them about patience, sharing, being calm, about explaining their feelings in words rather than acting them out, about good and bad ways to deal with big feelings. Teach them, in simple terms, about the deeper, heart-level concepts of patience, not always getting your way, being unselfish and loving, and not being mean to others.
Use simple scriptures to reinforce these principles. Preschoolers are smart, and they really do understand when we talk to them about these things—we just have to catch them in the right moment. They often "get it" in their heads, but then we have to help their feelings and self-control mature and catch up. And watch "Daniel Tiger" together—seriously, that show and its little songs help!
Read more...
