I don't know about you, but I don't like to struggle myself, and I hate watching my kids struggle. I don't think I'm alone. Yet none of us will be free from experiencing trials and difficulties at some point in our lives. What will we do in the dark times? Who will we become as a result of them? Will we resist the pain and refuse to grow? Or will we lean into those hard time and embrace the lessons God is hoping to teach us?When we suffer, our relationships with the people we love can take a toll. Here are a couple of questions I ask myself during the tough patches... How will the choices I make now affect my faith? How will the way I handle my struggles or their struggles affect my relationship with my kids?
Several moms shared their perspective about maintaining a close relationship with God and with their adult kids in the midst of pain and suffering. Here are three valuable lessons they shared with me:
"No matter what happens, I refuse to become a bitter woman."
"Unless a tragedy happens, my kids will outlive me and even when I die, the battle for them will not be over, and the Spirit will still be working. I want them to remember my faith until the day they die."
No matter what happens. What images well up in your mind in response to that comment? What is the unthinkable "whatever" that you wrestle with? We all have them. This mom's stated decision has been food for my own soul countless times in the past year. Who will I become when I face trials?
It doesn't matter the details of the hardship she lives with. I can assure you that this mom wishes a lot of things were different. She chooses to be hopeful and faithful. She chooses to be present and available and nonjudgmental during long conversations with her child. She is honest and open. She loves unconditionally. And the result of her decisions, of her unconditional love, is that she shares a close, deep friendship with her adult child.
At the same time, she enjoys a deep and growing personal relationship with God. She is honest about her own struggles and doesn't sugar coat anything she faces. She chooses to have a faithful and eternal perspective. She faces the future with questions, but a sense of humor. Each of us will face our own set of challenges throughout life. No two lives will look the same. No matter what happens in my life, I want to imitate the faith and perspective of this mom.
